The Titular Devil, With Hand

The Titular Devil, With Hand

Monday, October 4, 2010

Jury Duty! Akk!


I just had a really awful jury-duty day...spent seven hours sitting around the jury-duty room with a bunch of other people watching Divorce Court and Judge Judy and The Price is Right...The price is Right is particularly horrifying. It involves fairly grotesque people in gaudy clothes trying strenuously to out-histrionic each other, thus proving that they're the rightful recipient of an outboard motor, etc. Man it was giving me chest pains, although...the tall thin black dude who gave us our instructions really had his patter down. Didn't make me any happier to be there, though.

Finally they herded us upstairs and told we were in the pool for a really huge double capital-murder case that was going to last seven weeks at least, and involve sequestration, holy shit. Every single other potential juror ( I think there were about a hundred and forty) went up before the judge ahead of me. But when I got int here, I employed an argument involving the World Fantasycon and how I had to go to that (wasn't lying), and that's why they shouldn't use me, and the judge(a looming afro-american magistrate with much gravitas) was very nice and said I could leave, but...man, that would've knocked my life into a cocked hat for a while.

Besides the judge and the instruction guy, some of the other courtroom characters were interesting...there was a funny ex-military Puerto Rican bailiff, and six high priced-looking defense attorneys in sharp suits, and a prosecutor who looked like a beautifully-coiffed Republican politician on the make, and his gorgeous tall blonde female assistant...the rest of us looked like shit, and very demoralized.

You should be glad you weren't there!

Hey, do you want some more Lilitu and Yark?

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